And so it begins.

I suppose I will give this whole blogging thing a try. I've never been one to sit down and write out things that I've been thinking about or reading about (especially since I don't read), or praying about because 99% of the time I just talk to someone about it. I've come to the rather sad realization that I'm not very clever or very cunning so I suppose you could say that I felt overwhelmed when reading other peoples well planned and rather funny blogs. You can imagine my hesitation to start one of my own. As I sat trying to think of something catchy to name my blog, I decided that I should name it as I saw fit. And stop trying to impress people with my cleverness (or stun them with the lack thereof). I spend far too much of my time wondering what people will think of me or what people say about me when I'm not around. I've always wanted to be someone that people talk about and say, "isn't she a nice young lady?" or "what a kind heart she has" or even better "when I grow up, I want to be just like her". Unfortunately, I'll never know what people say about me when I'm not there.
Which leads me to the point of all this rambling, it doesn't matter what people say about me. Or think about me. Or don't think about me. It only matters what the Lord thinks of me. At the end of the day, if everyone in the world loathed me, if He looked down upon me and said, "well done, good and faithful servant" then that's enough. It's a hard thing to grasp and an even harder thing to live by. I tell myself all the time "it doesn't matter what they think, it's only what God thinks that has value", but I find myself believing that less and less as they days pass by. I find myself searching for earthly approval instead of focusing on Him.
So I'm sorry if this blog isn't pleasing to you. Or isn't funny enough. But this is what's been on my mind. What I've been thinking about. And I would kindly ask that you please consider this...